The Smile on His Face
by Lost Demon102
Summary: Sanzo was wounded again, and Goku worries. Why didn't he protect Sanzo? Sanzo goes against this and says he won't die stupidly. Especially if he wants to protect Goku. What does this mean? Oneshot. SanzoxGoku


A/N: Oh. I got inspired again, just when I remembered that I was supposed to continue my other story for another show. Oh well. It could wait.

Disclaimer: I said this before, but I don't own Saiyuki. I wish I did own Goku, though. X3 I love him like hell.

O-O-O

The rain smashed onto the windows as the cool air embraced the body on the soft, white bed. The air had also placed itself around the boy sitting on a wooden chair next to the bed. He could only stare with pained eyes at the man lying unconscious. Where had he gone wrong? What happened to him? Why wasn't he able to make it in time? How could he go through all this when he failed? Why couldn't he protect?

The boy sighed for another in a million times. It was his fault, wasn't it? He didn't arrive in time to shield the corrupt monk. He blamed himself. If he just jumped in time, flawlessly, Sanzo wouldn't have gotten the serious injury. Even if he did, Sanzo would still be mad at him for being a stupid monkey and how the great Genjo Sanzo didn't need protection.

No, he didn't care if Sanzo complained. It's much better to see him angry than to see him hurt. But if the young Son Goku was hurt, wouldn't his keeper be hurt as well? Sanzo wouldn't show it. Of course he wouldn't. Goku would then be happy. He would've at least done his part in returning his debt to the monk. He for one was the one who freed Goku, right?

Too bad. Goku couldn't protect him, and it was a shame. He swore to protect the man. In the end, he couldn't. He felt… worthless.

Goku's eyes hurt from the continuous sobbing. He was still as furious as earlier. Oh even he, as if a god, could remember every single word he said…

O-O-O

"_O- Oi, baka! Stop it!" Gojyo screamed, irritated. True, he expected Goku to be like this. He never thought of how to stop him.  
"Let me go!" Goku yelled at the top his lungs, "Let me go! I have to go to Sanzo! I just have to!"  
"Goku," Hakkai pointed out, also as troubled as Gojyo in trying to calm Goku down, Sanzo needs rest, and you know that."  
"You think I can just let him lie there! He needs me!" Goku kept yelling, frantically. He kicked, swung his arms, struggling to get free of Gojyo's grasp._

_The redhead was surprisingly doing his best to hold on to Goku. The tears started to fall. Goku could no longer take it. "Dammit!" Goku screamed and kick Gojyo's guts. The man, because of the pain, had let go as Goku ran to the bed where Sanzo was found._

"_Sanzo!" Goku called out, scared, "You can't die, Sanzo. You just can't!" The boy took Sanzo's hand and rubbed it against his face. The tears trailed down Goku's cheeks and rolled their way onto Sanzo's hand. The hand was cold, and so were the tears._

"_Don't leave me, Sanzo!"_

O-O-O

Goku choked out another sob as he watched Sanzo lie motionless. The blonde's breathing was slow and quiet. It was as if he wasn't breathing. Thinking about it, it gave Goku another moment of feeling his heart tear to billions of pieces. Sanzo couldn't die. He wouldn't. He'd never leave Goku.

_Would he?_

Goku mentally slapped himself for thinking so lowly of Sanzo. Of course Sanzo wouldn't. He couldn't. He never will.

_What if he is right now?_

Goku dropped to the floor. His head was aching. As Sanzo didn't move in three days, Goku couldn't sleep. The fact that he was so protective of Sanzo made him do reckless things like not eating or sleeping. The Son Goku known for doing his best trying to be strong, trying to _live_, has grown… _weak_.

"Sanzo," Goku began to speak as if Sanzo was awake, "I don't… I'm sorry. I couldn't…" Goku slowly stood up like it was as hard as trying to breathe when one is dying. Thinking of death, Goku choked out a sob again. His eyes were unbelievably red from all the tears that stung his eyes.

The boy walked to the blonde and dropped his body beside the man's. He gently wrapped his arm around Sanzo's body, careful not to reopen the monk's wounds, the wounds he got from an army of demons' arrows.

"Please wake up."

Goku shut his eyes. Sanzo had always woken up at his call. Hopefully, he did just now. Praying, Goku reopened his eyes.

"Sanzo?"

Nope, he wasn't awake yet.

The pain in Goku's heart was unbearable. This was the Goku that does not come out normally. There was no joy in his eyes, no shine at all. It's like Goku was going to die if Sanzo was to do so. Why, Goku would never forgive himself if Sanzo died. No, he wouldn't.

Then, realization hit Goku straight in the face as a tidal wave of memories crashed down on him.

A situation like this one had occur before, right? There were tons of situations like this, right? And Sanzo would always say, "Bakasaru. I'm not stupid enough to die in front of you."

Goku forced a smile. "That's right. You won't die. I know you wouldn't."

"Why the hell would I?"

Goku looked up, surprised. He had his eyes unexpectedly locked into amethyst violet ones. Genjo Sanzo was wide awake.

"Sa- Sanzo?" Goku asked, unable to brush away the fact that he was still staring into Sanzo's eyes, a new set of tears about to fall from his own.

"Get the hell off me!"

Quickly, Goku rolled of the bed and fell to the floor. Sanzo stayed lying down as Goku stood up.

"You're awake!"  
"Of course I'm awake, baka! How many times do I have to say it? I'm not stupid enough to die in front of you."

Goku closed his eyes, avoiding crying. He smiled.

"I wouldn't when I purposely drove those demons away from you."

Goku cracked his golden orbs open. Did he hear correctly? Maybe. But even if Sanzo said what he thinks he said, he wouldn't accept it. If he meant it, it only means that Sanzo again protected him when he always wanted to protect his sun. But then… it meant also another thing. But _what_ could it be?

"What do you mean?"

Sanzo moved his eyes to look at his companion. "What the hell? Get out of my room, idiot!"

Goku widened his eyes. Didn't Sanzo just-

Goku was interrupted from his thoughts as bullets missed him by millimeters. The frightened boy screamed and ran out of the room, making sure he closed the door. After panting, he went back to his thoughts.

It was the typical Sanzo, but he _swore_ he heard Sanzo say he protected him. Goku smiled. Maybe he'll find out some other time. All that was important was that Sanzo was fine. Goku knew better that to worry. Did he underestimate the _great_ Genjo Sanzo? Of course he wouldn't die! Goku grinned sheepishly as the smell of Sanzo's sweet smoking entered the brunette's nostrils.

He quietly opened Sanzo's door to the slightest bit. Sanzo was sitting up on his bed. Goku smiled once again. Maybe the cause of the smile on his face was Sanzo and the smile on _his_ face, too. Sanzo was smiling, and it sure meant something.

Goku closed the door quietly and walked down the hall to meet the smiling Hakkai and the smirking Gojyo. Things were just back to normal now, weren't they? Goku had stupidly worried when he shouldn't have. Goku grinned at his two friends and placed his hands behind his head, dug up in the chocolate brown hair of his.

Goku blinked as he felt a hand on his head. He looked to his side to see Sanzo out of bed. Surprised, he asked, "Sanzo, what are you doing-"

Before Goku could continue, his stomach grumbled, signaling his hunger. He's completely forgotten about how he didn't eat for the past three days.

"Uhm, I'm hu-"

"Bakasaru!"

_TWACK!_

O-O-O

A/N: Oh my god. It's so lame! (sobs) Anyway, I hope you don't hate it at least. Making this kind of made me realize something. You shouldn't worry when you're not supposed to. Trust me; I just went through that a few months ago. Respectful reviews are highly appreciated. Thank you.


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